No more.
No more silence.
From us.
The women.
For we have always had much to say.
Much to promote. Much to contribute.
Yet. Lacking room on the big stage there is.
For women like us.
No more.
No more silence.
So much knowledge. So much intelligence. So much beauty.
So much.
So much.
To offer.
We must stand up. Rise up. Join the global cry.
No more. No more...silence.
Silence. Yet deafening. Juxtapositions everywhere.
The stage is big enough for us too.
Big enough to hold our strength.
To hold our experience.
Female experience.
Female voice.
Female.
The stage may enjoy our fresh presence. Our perspective. Our power. Our voices.
For they are strong. Strong they are. Powerful. Powerful they are.
Together we must make space. For us.
The women.
Words have alluded me recently. Trying to catch them like a frantic butterfly catcher. Although the idea of capturing nature saddens me. Grasping at their wings. My thoughts flying round like a floppy monarch. Ever elusive. Words, the thing that liberates and at the same time can make one feel completely caged. As seen from the poem, this blog will be different. These are the tricklings of my current frustrations. Lashings of my anger, reverence and disappointments.
...
I’m sick of the patriarchy that has constantly restricted and oppressed for millennia. I’m done. I believe that Jesus was ‘done’ 2000 years ago too. Yet, here we are still discussing the same infuriating things. Like predominantly female filled churches predominantly led by men. Societies and Churches governed by archaic systems and rules. Time and again my cheeks are wet from the abuses we suffer, the pain we carry, the constant waves of affliction that surround us. On every side we are crushed. In every facet of society we are squeezed and life bled out of us. A question that fills my mind at the moment is, why is The Church so behind? When our leader, our God came to earth to trample down the mountains that divided people. Why are we dealing with problems that were shown a solution literally thousands of years ago? I can’t get my head around that. That women were shown equality, acceptance, inclusion, and ultimately given a purpose, a name, a role! Jesus, the Christian fulcrum - epitome - cornerstone... Jesus championed women. He used them as powerful changers and shakers. That surely cannot be denied. Why then, do we struggle to mirror that in our communities? Why are women's voices drowned out? Why have women been removed or rubbed out in our history books? In our own church traditions and doctrines? What is it about women that caused the patriarchy to deliberately do this? The more disturbing thing to consider is whether they did it deliberately, or whether it was that women really meant so little. One of my closest friends is an RE teacher, the other day she was teaching on gender equality in Christianity. Apparently, the class were having a debate over whether women should speak in Church - referring of course to Paul's teachings. They went on to blame Christianity for inequality. As someone who greatly values exegetical study, contextual theology and anthropological reference, it breaks my heart when these discussions are had time and again without mature, academic direction. So, we can count on those constant misinterpretations being passed down time and again to the next generation. Hence, creating an ongoing erasing, muting and silencing of women. Of course, being a pretty broken idealist, this is not the world we live in. It is people's own journey of enlightenment that must lead them to find out who Jesus is and what he stood for. That should not be controlled, but I believe deliberate choices can be made. Choosing female authors in our work, seeking out an alternative worldview from our own for example. These things would add depth and texture to our outlooks. Ultimately, including powerful and necessary voices into our conversations, our reflections.
So, with the constant billowing injustice surrounding women why is the term 'feminist' considered in some Christian circles a dirty word? I admit, I'm cautious to say I’m a feminist because of the kind of images that are evoked in people’s minds. The fact that I am that caught up on whether my own opinions could cause offence demonstrates how ingrained this 'silencing' is (See Mary Beard's Women & Power). The millennial that apparently I am, stands firm that we live in an age of spectrums, sliding scales and extremes. When I say I am a feminist. I side with the dictionary definition that says equal opportunities for women. I do not need to defend that definition. I believe in it. Completely. Albeit, a different understanding perhaps to the societies we live in. An amphibious feminist, perhaps. But a feminist all the same.
I’ve just had the incredible honour of having spent the weekend at a conference specifically for women that work in Missiology. Being surrounded by women from varied spheres, seeing the world through different lenses working in different academic and practical fields was awe-inspiring. A lot of tough topics were discussed, such as the horrifically gruesome stories of the OT women, the risk those experience on the mission field and abuse. It was a painful reminder of the constant broken femaleness we are surrounded by. Regarding the OT tales, I’m often too emotionally drained to even read those stories. But when I dare to read them I scan the text for a happy ending. I seek a good finale. I crave a rich justice in response to their blood shed. Instead, I am faced with nothing. No happy endings there. How does that make a 21st century female feel? When these stories are just as true today as they were then. Women are still being treated the same! That’s what turns my stomach. Something that came up after this was that these stories can be used as a gateway into these heartbreaking issues. They can aid those conversations and rid people of undeserved shame. When these topics are raised, resources are required to provide suitable support. Is it a priority? It should be.
What about the fact that these women are present in the narrative? In a time when women were of such low status that they were hardly worth mentioning, it is important that they are present. The women often display exemplary behaviour which sometimes contrasts against their male counterparts. One of my heros Mary Evans writes about the rather frightening book of Judges
"I think Judges was written to explicitly say, ‘This is not how it was meant to be.’ And when you come to the passages of women being raped or kidnapped – just terrible stuff – but accept that the writer is presenting a view of society that was not how it was meant to be, then the way women were treated is actually seen as the epitome of the awfulness of society.”
I find this a more helpful view of the horrors, we should not hide from the atrocities but rather recognise this was humanity at its worst and that it is not OK for it to continue. The oppression of women is a stamp of brokenness, etched into our societies and complacency is an uninvited guest. I often try to weigh it all in my head, I've studied and experienced enough of Jesus' grace to know that there are examples of how it is supposed to be, how Jesus fought the injustice. So, we have to carry this yoke, men and women.
Surrounded by this constant inadequacy gets me down. Most frustratingly... I’m not allowed to be angry! I’m not allowed to scream and shout at the injustice. Because that’ll make me a 'stereotypical' woman - ultimately one that is not taken seriously. Tragically...leaving me on the fringes of academic and 'serious' study. Crying is not on a par with anger for example. Anger is accepted. Perhaps it is more masculine. On that note, emotions are not monopolised by women, the Bible promotes the healthy process of lamentation. One third of the psalms is an outcry of intense emotional questioning. Expressing emotional depth is encouraged. Counter culture perhaps.
I am weary. I suppose. Although that changes between tiredness to fierce anger through the journey of time. After all, I am a human comprised of sliding scales and extremes. One minute I've had enough and the next I want to write a thousand books. I want to hear more female voices in my world. I'm tired of singing songs that include masculine pronouns which deliberately exclude women from worship. Poignantly, this experience allows me to somewhat empathise with many women in the Bible who were excluded from their communities and separated from God due to human-made boundaries. For example, the woman with the issue of blood (Luke 8:43-48). Due to the fact she was ‘unclean’ she would have been an outcast - cut off from society and temple worship. Also, consider the poor who were excluded from entering the temple to meet with God. How did Jesus respond to that? He turned the tables, he fought against the injustice that was keeping the poor separated from God. Jesus was angry. When pyramids prevent people from seeing Jesus, that's when we need to be afraid, because it should not be acceptable. Although a constant battle to believe I am of equal worth to my male counterparts, I truly believe deep down that women are part of something incredibly powerful, and unique. Something that is glorious. It feels trite. Rather contrived. But I have to believe there is something more than this for us.
The women.
Resources:
Women and Power by Mary Beard (2017)
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